Jealousy and Dating Advice for Women

March 6th, 2010 | by admin |

One of the most problematic issues related to dating is the excessive jealousy some men tend to show in their relationships. And jealousy is very difficult to spot from the first or second date. You can look at the guy and think he is funny, good looking, successful in life and in his career – but you can never detect jealousy right away.

Many men are very possessive and when you mix this with a lack of self confidence (mostly the fear of not loosing a woman to someone else), you will see the full extent of the negative effects of jealousy. Some men don’t believe that they actually deserve to be in a relationship with the woman, and they try to make her as dependent on them as possible.

While excessive jealousy can’t be spotted right away, there are certain signs that can tell you more about your date, especially if you start seeing each other more often. Some guys will probably offer to pick you up from work or school when you get out – this can be a nice gesture, but it can also be one of the first signs that they want complete control over your time and company. Other times, you may have a phone conversation with a male friend of yours – maybe a coworker, maybe an old friend.

If your date asks about him you can consider that a good thing – he is interested in your friends and entourage. However, if the conversation goes on and on about the male voice on your phone, chances are jealousy is involved. One of the most obvious signs of jealousy is when you tell your date that you spent a night out with a male friend and he starts an argument based on that. Any woman should have at least a few men as friends, and if your date is envious or jealous about any of them, chances are you are in for a rough ride if you continue the relationship.

Most guys with low self esteem will also develop jealousy problems. They feel like you can always find someone better, so they go out of their way to monopolize your time and interests. Nothing is enough for a jealous man when it comes to gaining his trust. Even your sincere love, your passion, your willingness to be by his side when he is going through rough times may not be enough for his peace of mind. This is why jealous men are one of the most negative dates you can experience.

Warning signals for jealous men – Here are a few things that can let you know if your date or partner is jealous:

He keeps track of all your friends and social encounters.

He tells you to dress more conservatively, especially when you are not going out together with him.

He insists on escorting you to the bakery, grocery store and other places similar to those.

He often shows up or calls during your business meetings, or any other occasions when you are in a distinct group (maybe a high school reunion or simply while hanging out with your girlfriends).

He starts an argument every time you mention one of your male friends or say something good about any other guy.

He lacks confidence and has low self esteem.

He snaps about minor details.

He makes communication difficult if he doesn’t like the topic.

Craig Rad
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/jealousy-and-dating-advice-for-women-118859.html

  1. 11 Responses to “Jealousy and Dating Advice for Women”

  2. By Jamie G on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    I really need some advice here…women especially?
    Okay, I am going to try and make this short. I need to know how other people would feel because I just don’t know which is the right way to go. I have been dating this guy now for over a year. He is going through a divorce and has been going through it for 2 years. Long story short we live together and we have been for 9 months. I consider it my home. He gets his son who is three every other weekend. I am allowed to be around his son, but his ex is jealous and requested that no women be allowed to stay the night when his son is there. The court granted her that, but it was a year ago. Either way there divorce is coming up soon (hopefully) and my boyfriend has already told his attorney that he wants to get that clause removed and he is going to fight it. It has been a messy divorce and it has just been dragged out for way too long now. Bottom line I am in no rush to get married, but we have talked about it and one day plan on it. I am feeling a little upset though because I have to leave every other weekend. I feel I have to leave my home and go somewhere else all for his ex’s selfish reasons. I am in no way any danger to his son and infact he likes me, but it is all out of jealousy. I just feel that this has been going on too long and it is ridiculous and I can’t help but get angry. It is causing problems in our relationship and I just want to know how other people would handle this situation. I need some advice and I need to know if you think my feelings and frustrations are normal.

  3. By Catie on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    Just stay calm and talk it out. You’ll get there. Best of luck
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  4. By AnswerDude on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    Good rule is to not date a man till the divorce is final! BUT it is too late for that SO you just have to wait it out since you didn’t wait to begin with! ! !

    Good Luck!
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  5. By Valerie X Account #22! on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    Once you are his Wife, she won’t be able to say $hit about it but until then, Ms Jealousy will cause problems.
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  6. By Grace on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    His son comes first. he had him before you came along. You’ll always be second. Get use to it.
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  7. By Davidica on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    If the house/lease is in YOUR NAME, mail* it to his attourney, her attourney and the judge to prove that you are legally allowed to stay in your own house and that it is HIS fault for staying with you and breeching the clause.

    (*call the attournies and court first to find out if this would be legit)
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  8. By shan_renee3 on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    I have the same situation situations going on, and all i can say is if you love the guy and if he is worth it, then do what the courts have ordered for now. Its not forever. the biggest thing of all, dont blame him he’s doing what he has to to have his child.
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  9. By Willa on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    Really, it’s not all about you. First you date and then move in with a married man and now you resent the mother not wanting her child in the overnight company of a woman like you? In truth, she can have that clause in the divorce decree if she asks for it. Courts are protective of minor children and will allow a mother to protect the morals of her children from influences she disagrees with so your boyfriend will have to abide by it or lose his visitation rights.
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  10. By Sandy Ego on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    My personal rule has always been not to date guys with kids from previous relationships. Period.

    Once you choose to be with a guy who has a kid, you are putting yourself at the mercy of him and the mother of the child. It can work out great if everyone involved is a responsible adult – or it can result in a lot of drama, like in your case. The important thing to understand is that no one is blameless – not you, not him, not his ex. It isn’t just "her fault" – all of you guys are contributing to the situation by the choices you have made in the past and are making right now. If you are choosing to be in a relationship with this person, you have to be sure that you are willing to endure a certain amount of drama in your life for as long as you guys are together. Even once the divorce is final, the ex isn’t going to go away – if she is the way you say she is, she’ll always find some way to manipulate him by using the child as an excuse. If you are not prepared to put up with it, you’re better off hitting the road now, before wasting any more time. It is your choice and your right. At the moment, there isn’t anything you can do except be patient and wait for him to finish the battle. If your name is not on the deed, it is NOT your house, no matter how you may feel about it. Again, staying in this situation is entirely your choice – don’t pass the blame. It’s easy to point your finger at the "evil ex" while completely overlooking your own choices and responsibilities.
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  11. By Wilma F on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    as long as that clause is in effect on his visitation then it was foolish to move in w/ him.

    Yes, I’d be pizzed that I had to leave my home everytime the kid came over but then I wouldn’t have moved in w/ him until that clause was removed.

    I know you care for him and you believe you have future w/ him but the fact that BOTH of you disregarded or dismissed that clause says you really didn’t think too far into the future about the reality of this situation and what all is going to be involved in moving this relationship forward.

    You both only went for what you wanted, when you wanted it without thinking about the price you’d have to pay to have what you wanted.

    well, this is price for staying in this relationship and living with him before he’s finished w/ his old business. He has a restriction that requires you to not be in the same space as his son overnight.

    Under the present circumstances you have three options:

    1. you leave while the child visits, as you have been doing

    2. he and the child leave and sleep elsewhere so you don’t have to leave your home.

    3. you get your own place and only move back in w/ him when the inconvenient clause is removed by the court.

    It sucks, there is no getting around that, it SUCKS! but you knew what the deal was before you moved in and you’re going to have to play by the court’s rules until it’s changed.

    Good Luck.
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  12. By Sue C on Mar 6, 2010 | Reply

    Unfortunately "for now" you’re going to have to abide by "her" wishes. I KNOW how you feel, I too went thru the same thing. I was NOT allowed to be around when my "ex" picked up his 2 kids, he had to take them to his mother’s to see them. This was not an over nite thing as you have tho. So I can well imagine how you feel having to leave your own home completely to comply w/her wishes. When their divorce becomes final, he CAN get this chged. He’d be entitled to live his own life, & certainly wouldn’t be expected to have to keep this up when it’s all over & done with. There would be NO reason for it. He’s allowed to live a life, find someone he loves, but not have to have it stipulated "she" had to vacate when he saw his child. That would all be far too unfair. As much as you dislike it now, just wait a bit longer as you know it’s NOT forever. In time you’ll end up having a happy better tomorrow. Just keep that in mind, there IS a lite at the end of your tunnel…best to you…:)
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