7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship Effectively

November 1st, 2009 | by admin |

Dave works long hours and Jessica doesn’t feel like he is always there for her. Jessica spends all of her time taking care of the children and Dave doesn’t feel like she has enough time for him. Can this relationship be saved? Should it even try to be saved? Here is some advice on how to save a relationship.

First of all, you have to decide whether your relationship is worth saving. Almost every relationship can be saved, but both of you have to want it to work out. If one person absolutely does not want to save the relationship, then there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in relationships simply because they are convenient, or they remain married just for the sake of their children. That is not enough though. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both partners that the relationship is important and worth saving.

Next, you have to focus and find the specific problems in the relationship. One of the most common problems in trying to save a relationship is that people often think that the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. Try to pinpoint exactly what led the relationship to be in how it is now.

For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes a breakup. Actually, the affair is a just a symptom of a bigger problem. In this case, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a cheating partner. Although most people think the affair is the actual problem, the cause was really that the relationship lacked intimacy. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, it might be possible to keep your partner from having another affair, but other problems may arise.

You have to deal with the main issues rather than the symptoms. When you get the facts straight, then it is possible to save your relationship.

Once you identify the main problems in the relationship, you should discuss your thoughts together. This means both of you have to share your thoughts and listen to each other. Hold your partner’s hand while you are talking. This signals that you want to reconnect through these hard times in the relationship. Also, when you partner says things that emotionally hurt you, you have to remember that you are working out the problems, and he or she is not simply trying to hurt you.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you have to realize that saving a relationship takes time and will not happen instantly. If you truly do love your partner, stick with it and eventually your relationship will be stronger than ever. In the process though, you have to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

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kanetohman
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Relationships