How to Save a Relationship in 5 Steps

March 9th, 2010 | by admin |

Scott works long hours and Beth often feels lonely. She seems to spend her entire life meeting the needs of the kids and then Scott feels she doesn’t have time for him. This relationship looks like it’s doomed. Can it be saved? Should they even try to save it? Here’s a few tips on how to save a relationship.

Step 1. You must both decide that you want to save the relationship. Most relationships can be saved with hard work, but you must both want it to work. If one of you has decided enough is enough then there is little that you can do to repair it.

Lots of people will soldier on in a relationship simply because of the kids. Or because it’s routine and convenient for them. This isn’t enough in the long term. If you want to learn how to save a relationship, then you need agreement by both of you that it is indeed worth saving.

Step 2. You must identify the problem or problems in your relationship. A major problem in how to save a relationship is that you tend to think the symptoms of the problem are the actual problem.

Many people think an affair is a problem that will cause a break up. But often times an affair is a symptom of a deeper underlying problem. Lack of real intimacy can often lead to a partner cheating. Most people will see the act of cheating as the problem where the real culprit is the lack of intimacy. Even if you can stop the cheating, say through the use of guilt, you may end up with another problem (internet porn for instance) because you haven’t dealt with the actual problem of a lack of intimacy.

When you face and fix the actual problems, and not the symptoms. You can save a relationship from disaster.

Step 3. When you indentify your problems, you can both share your views. This means both expressing your own views and listening to your partners concerns. If you can be close and maybe hold hands while discussing your problems you are giving your partner a signal that you want to connect, even if your emotions are running a bit wild. If your partner says something upsetting, don’t start a fight but remember they are saying this because they care and want to improve your overall relationship.

Step 4. Once you have both discussed the problems then it’s time to make a plan of action to help solve them. Then be sure to take firm steps on your plan of action. If you aren’t spending enough time together, plan one night a week when you can be together, and if possible without distraction. Try to be creative in ways to spend some time together.  If communicating is one of the problems then agree to talk to each other for 10 or 15 minutes before you go to bed. And make sure you stick to it.

Step 5. Finally, realize that to save a relationship isn’t a one time thing. It is ongoing all the time. If the relationship isn’t growing it will start to fail. Realise you will have a few setbacks. It may seem like a few steps forward and one step back. There are going to be great times going forward but also the odd tear will be shed. If you can apologize quickly and hold your tongue when you want to blame you can’t fail to be a better person, and your relationship will grow.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, the tips in this article will give you a kick start. The rest is up to you

Alex Anders
http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/how-to-save-a-relationship-in-5-steps-740635.html

  1. 7 Responses to “How to Save a Relationship in 5 Steps”

  2. By eb b on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    How to have last serious talk to save relationship?
    My girlfriend is pretty much through with me but I feel like the relationship can be saved and she has agreed to talk one last time. She is very agrumentive around me and doesnt want to be aroung me at all. She says she does not love me anymore and hates me for who I am. What steps can I take to give her more space and have her more comfortable around me?
    These are a few issues we have but the major one is I need to stop being so clingy and give her freedom to do what she wants. The more I stop her the more she wants to!
    1. she is a hostess and goes out with clients for dinner dates. Solution: I told her not to but now I am good with it.
    2. she goes out with her friends every weekend. She meets new girls and guys. My problem with this is she did it 3 times a week and never went out with me. Solution: Give her the space to meet new people and make new friends. After awhile she will want to go with me.
    3. Try to be friends. Get out of her face and try not to live her life.
    3 continued: stop telling her what to do and just be supportive of her.
    4. Get my own life. I have a new job now. I am more busy.
    5. tell her not to marry anymore.
    I guess my problem is I am a control freak. I have been improving and it is showing. I dont want to say I love her, give her gives and buy her off. I want her to come to me out her own free will.
    Tonight will be tough. women usually get set on a decision and dont change their minds.

  3. By Jamie C on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    You seriously need to ask yourself WHY in the hell you would want someone that has told you 1. They don’t love you 2. Hate you for who you are 3. Doesn’t want to be around you at all

    It’s over. She doesn’t want you. If you are going to change, use it for the next relationship, sounds like this girl is through with you and you are just going to have to accept that.
    References :

  4. By darwin e on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    one last "talk" is going to do nothing! you have to talk all the time and believe me all woman are bitches they just want more and more and more!! if they weren’t so beautiful i wouldn’t be with them
    References :

  5. By Adrien on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    Well women may be like that.. some women just dont know what they want, or sometimes find what they want during the relationship between the both of you.. causing her to loose attraction and interest in you…. i can relate to your controlling issue for every man is like that in some way…dont worry about it…. i wish you luck.. and remeber this … there are many other women out there……. also sorry for the misspelled words or punctuation… im at work and in rush ! GOOD LUCK !!!!
    References :

  6. By Nes S on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    This would be really hard her being a hostess and be busy all the time. You would just stress yourself and be resentful of yourself because when what you propose happend you’ll hate the situation. I think you are still totally inlove with her though feelings are not mutally anymore. Come to think of it, she told you she hates you for who you are. That a major hit to your person. Sometimes it better if you change for yourself not for others. Its no use telling you to break it off with her. You’ll just do the same things in a new relationship.
    References :

  7. By hellsangel507 on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    im sorry to hear your having problems.. As a women i may be able to help.
    It sounds to me like your the obbsessive type that doesnt want her to leave your side. She cant talk to another guy, she cant hang out with friends, she cant even do her job right because you dont like it.
    That would give her every right to leave you. What you can do is just be there for her. Let her go. How old is she? Sounds like she is 23 or so..trying to live life to the fullest. how long have you been together? If for a while now.,, is it worth throwing away? People can change.. you can do anything if you set your mind to it.. Give her space.
    On this last conversation… dont make it sound like the last.. make it sound like the beginning of something new.. Tell her your going to change and make yourself do it. Tell her what you feel and hopefully she will understand.
    If you love her, tell her. there is no greater word than love. Dont just say it to win her, say it if you truly mean it.
    You cant control people. Your not her boss, your probably making her feel like she has to answer to you. Telling her what to do and what not to do is not cool. Would you like it if she told you – you werent allowed out tonight? Plan something special one night and tell her about it. Tell her.. hey baby, Im thinking about planning something special just for the two of us.. what do you think? And take it from there..if she says no, then ask her to pick a day and you make the arrangements.. Find out or figure out what she likes to do and do it. But make it romantic. Hold her hands, kiss her ,, show her that YOU still care about her. But DONT be too clingy. Give her the space.. make her miss you. Once she misses you, then she’ll run right back to you..
    Good luck.. i hope it works out
    References :

  8. By magnetic_azimuth on Mar 9, 2010 | Reply

    Honestly, I think it is over

    you are dealing with affairs of theheart, and if she is going out with clients, something tells me you lost her a long time ago,

    find someone worthy of your love and attention who will honor your relationship and not be doing these things
    References :

Post a Comment