Improve the Intimacy in Your Marriage

February 3rd, 2010 | by admin |

After the newlywed years are gone and children come into the family or other large responsibilities take over your every day, it becomes easy to slip into a predictable and non-intimate routine with your spouse. Getting out of that routine and putting some “spark” back into the everyday can be a challenge. However, it’s a challenge that’s definitely worthwhile.

First, let’s think simple. Make an effort each day to go out of your way to think of something you can do for your spouse. Something that lets them know you love them and are thinking of them in the midst of the busy work week. Intimacy includes everyday kindnesses such as a short sweet note in your spouse’s lunch or coat pocket, making their favorite meal or treating them to a nice meal out, or even a treat hidden under their pillow and a massage after a long day. When you are both thinking of ways to let the other one know they are loved, both your needs get met and intimacy is achieved.

Second, date your spouse. Yes, I said “date.” Just because you’re married doesn’t mean the courtship is over. Go out on planned dates. Make an effort to get a babysitter if needed or have a neighbor watch your kids. Some couples are even willing to swap date nights. Your neighbor watches your children one night then you watch their children the next night or weekend. This technique also saves a lot of money on paying formal babysitters. Also, by making dates with your spouse you are showing each other your marriage is a priority. Your children will also benefit from seeing and knowing their parents love each other and make time to spend with one another. So, go on a date and pretend you just met. Try to “pick up” your spouse. It could bring a lot of laughs and a lot of memories. Go to a thrift store and pick out retro or fun outfits and wear them out to the movies or dinner. Go hiking or on a picnic at the park. Go fishing or take turns doing what the other person really enjoys.

Third, remember to make love often. The more you make love the more often you’ll want to and try to find moments of alone time together. Make it fun and sexy. Think of new ways to make it romantic such as lighting candles, buying new lingerie or finding new rooms or places in the house to make love. The “sparks” will be flying! Talk with each other about what you like most about making love and maybe even share some thoughts about new things you’d like to try.

Achieving marital intimacy can be considered easy if you think of it this way: Always be thinking of the other person’s needs. When this continuous act of selflessness is committed to by two people who care about each other, then real intimacy comes effortlessly.

Kari Hoopes
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/improve-the-intimacy-in-your-marriage-746267.html

  1. 32 Responses to “Improve the Intimacy in Your Marriage”

  2. By markk537 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    How can I restore intimacy in our marriage?
    I’m looking for specific ideas to show my wife that I want to improve the level of emotional intimacy in our marriage.
    Getting away for the weekend is certainly a great idea, but we’re not there right now.
    The ideas that I’m looking for fall into the "leaving love notes around the house" category. Also, my wife says she’s looking for a "pull out all the stops" demonstrative way for me to show her that I do want the intimacy that’s been lacking in our relationship. Something that I don’t necessarily do with her, but towards her.

  3. By captures_sunsets on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    get away for a weekend together, possibly to somewhere she has always wanted to go, or back to your honeymoon spot, remind her why the two of you fell in love.
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  4. By loveable on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    um hubby and I have started goin to the gym together and it’s bringing us more closer than I could ever imagine…
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  5. By dorioncanada on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    wait until she’s taking a shower, then join her
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  6. By naturalway42 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    If she’s asking for this as way of preventing sex then its bad.

    Emotional intimacy is a natural issue it develops over years own its own! you can try to be emotionally intimate but it won’t pay of in the longer run.
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  7. By nelliehm on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    just try to be honest, loving, and hot.
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  8. By orlin on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    go do something with her that she wants to do and do it. she most likely feels left out and not wanted anymore. Take a week-end and make it hers all hers and make her happy satisfy her desires to the fullest.
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  9. By angelfrom70 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    It’s all about communication!!!! Speaking from my own experience, I would simply love my partner to look me in the eyes and ask me "How are you feeling?". Don’t assume anything. Ask your wife what it is that you can do for her, what would make her happy, what does she need from you. We women aren’t as complex as you think – we just want someone to hold us and to listen to us. There is also a great book called "The Five Love Languages". I can’t recommend it highly enough. It addresses the fact that we all have different communication styles.
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  10. By myscrapemails on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    leave work, both of you no matter what, and get away for the weekend
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  11. By 1Warrior on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Turn off the TV. and talk.
    Remove the tv from the bedroom
    Buy her flowers or things that make the hose smell nice
    Share the housework – women love to be helped and appreciated, you both live there so do it together
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  12. By rqtpie19 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    intimacy for a women appears to be much different than a man’s idea of how to get there. We need to know that you love us, show her that by holding her hand just to hold her hand not to necessarly lead to sex. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate her, compliments work wonders if it’s not followed by you expecting her to be intimate. You need to take your time with her and rebuild what it sounds like you lost. Spend time alone and listen to what she has to say, go for a walk , hold hands, and just enjoy each other for all the reasons you got together to begin with.
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  13. By maggarcia21 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    I think the getaway is a good idea. I think that communication and expression is the key. Take her some where and tell her how your feeling and then do the get away. Send some flowers to her job. Write her a love letter.
    What ever you do just don’t give up.
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  14. By cam on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Practice more open conversations for one, also I agree that a weekend getaway would be the perfect idea to start. Plan out a weekend getaway, whatever type of jewelry your wife likes, a nice classy restaurant for dinner, and then a relaxing evening or two away from home, check with local resorts for lodging info for their suites, now is the perfect time as it’s the off-season, you can get a $600 a night suite some places for 1/4 of that. And if that doesn’t spice up your relationship, just remember these 2 words… "the butt"
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  15. By joejennm on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Emotional intimacy grows from good communication. Show more interest in her ideas, how her day went etc. Show more concern for her happiness and well being. Start more conversations, but allow her to do more of the talking while showing genuine interest. Bring about the commonalities that the two of you share. Will do more for you than a material gift or vacation.
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  16. By mellow on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Give her a bath,
    Write her little love notes around the house,
    give her flowers,
    Say I love you,
    brush her hair,
    rub her feet,
    tell her she has pretty eyes,
    take her out,
    Check out books that improve marriages and talk with her about it.
    Make love to her when ever you can!
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  17. By tiger_rose on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    The best book that you can read is "The five love languages" is the best book that you can buy!!!!!!!!
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  18. By jedidaddy on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    You have had some good ideas listed her. You need to use all of the good ones. Its a package deal. You don’t get one magical thing that will suddenly bring you bliss. Show her every day why you love her. Show her why you married her and why she is the best thing that ever happened to you. it may seem corny but if she is behind all your thoughts it shows in all you do.
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  19. By fallapartboy on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    there is no magic pill. However, small things matter and do add up.
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  20. By uu on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    tell her how much her presence in your life has benefited you recall all the good things shared together and most of all invite her to do things with you like eg her opionin in your work, behaviour inthe office or with a friend that way you share things with her and she with you and you become good friends and good friends are intimate and it grows from there. you don’t need to spend more to buy intimacy its those little things that matters.

    good luck
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    yahoo mail

  21. By ecutee on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    send her flowers by mail…add a sweet note. Give her a foot massage..
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  22. By reanne on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Locate the laundry room and do the wash, give her feet a rub and polish, put her towel in the dryer so when she gets out of the shower her towel is warm. Organize her closet by color or clothes, buy her and yourself bikes, pack a picnic lunch and get away by yourselves. All of these are small items but show you are thinking of her and that you appreciate her. This will in turn bring about a deeper level of emotional attachment. Thanks for being a decent man.
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  23. By sparky111_26003 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    the sexest thing a man can do I think is help out around
    the house. Do the dishes without being asked, take out
    garbage, straighten up. Make one day a week her day off,
    serve her breakfast in bed and like I said do the housework
    for the day. Buy her a good book, and take it to her and tell her to go and get some alone time in and read. Fix
    her favorite meal and clean up afterwards. In the evening
    run her a bubble bath. And light candles all around in the bathroom, lay out her favorite p.j.’s (not sexy ones) and turn down the bed. Slip her favorite movie in and just cuddle and watch it. Tell her she means the world to you. And you intend to do this one day every week, cause you want to make her happy, and want her to feel loved and cared for. And believe me you will get lovin like you ain’t ever had before. And if you keep this up, it will only get better. Sometimes men don’t realize all the effort women put into keeping up the home, and sometimes it can build up
    to resentment inside of a woman. And it leads to not communacating or arguments, and the man doesnt even realize what is up… Try it and see…
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  24. By TeTe on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    you can not let the romance die in your marriage… you have to start with compliments. women love compliments.. and if she doesn’t agree with you then have serious face look her in the eyes and say baby I love you you are the most beautiful woman in the world… you have to let her see that you are for real.. then give her a passionate kiss and see what happens…do that about 3 times a day… not to close together not to far apart… then the next day say 1 compliment. this is where you are going to start touching her alot… smack her on the butt and then just walk away… its called- 4play not the regular 4play you are thinking about, its being intimate with her mind and heart not just physical. once you have accomplished that which that part will take more than 2 weeks… something she can get used too… then once again… you switch it up… you got to stay on your game though… or she will begin to get insecure. I know because I have to do that to my husband… it works. trust me.
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  25. By timoooh on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Think about what you did before you were married. I bet it was a lot more that what you are doing now.
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  26. By eightballvero on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    everyone has given good answers, if all else fails try counseling….
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  27. By checking-u-out on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    talk, really talk go up to the mountains with each other pull over or make a picnic and tell him lets talk and get truth-full let it all out and be truth-full
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  28. By Marie on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Just spend time together, The little things matter. You don’t need to go away for the weekend or buy Flowers. Just show her that you are there and that each moment you share is special.
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  29. By melbe_sue on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    My husband and I were a hair away from a divorce because of our sex life. I wanted it all the time and he didn’t. I was feed up and was thinking about going to find someone else. this is when i discovered that we needed a little spice in our life. Every time he got into the shower i would join him. I would wash his body for him. then when it came time to shave i would do it for him. Now i don’t know how old you are or what you like but I brought my marriage back to life and if you want a few more tips email me.
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  30. By bowhunter2006 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    I’M NOT MARRIED, BUT MY BOYFRIEND AND I LIKE TAKING SHOWERS WITH EACH OTHER, AFTER THE SHOWERS OVER WITH WE GO INTO THE BEDROOM THAT IS LIT BY CANDLES, WE GIVE EACH OTHER FULL BODY MASSAGES FROM HEAD TO TOE, WHICH LEADS TO PASSIONATE LOVE MAKING.
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  31. By cinder_oj5 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    do little things like hugs, kisses or maybe spend your time with her instead of watching t.v. and newspaper. Don’t ignore her feelings . let her know that u really care for her.sometimes little things can make a big difference.
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  32. By tabby on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    It starts with the little loving gestures..tangible or non-tangible.
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  33. By Sunny2006 on Feb 3, 2010 | Reply

    Look into her eyes when she speaks.
    Sit silently and follow her words.
    Keep one step behind her. Let her lead.
    Open the door and let her be the first to exit.
    Open the car door for her.
    Be less logical. Give less opinions.
    Do not try to impress her with words.
    Listen to her heart. Respect her decisions.
    Change your lifestyle. Do not slouch until she sits.
    Earn her respect. Do not utter one word of criticism.
    Love her regardless of what she says of does.
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